Honk Like You Mean It

​I started to have a panic attack last night. With all the will power in the world, I decided I didn’t have the energy to put myself back together.
It will have to wait.
 
It’s time to go back for preplanning. For the first time in all my years of teaching, my room is not ready. Not even unpacked.
It will have to wait.
 
Things that were important have to take a back seat to what is more important. Quarantining, social distancing, masking up, and zooming for hours have redefined the parameters of my ability to get things done exactly the way I want them done.
 
It took me a long time to reconcile that I couldn’t fly off to meet new people, experience new cultures, or share my faith this summer. Ironically, all that still happened.
 
God still prevailed, and He gave me all the experiences my heart desired (and then some). Just not on a plane.
 
I met:
Marjorie from Haiti whose face lit up when I spoke of Acadamie La Saline.
Lauren from Alabama who declares her passion for French and the Lord in the same breath.
Bertha from Savannah who started our zoom prayer group in Spanish.
Robert from Kentucky who inspired us to laugh with him as he shared his stories of growing up.
Erika from Atlanta who rescued me at just the right moment- from giving up too soon.
Viviane from la Côte d’Ivoire who welcomed me into a new world of higher learning by calling me “JoJo” in French. She encouraged me, challenged me, and helped me stretch my abilities when – let’s face it- I realized that I’m getting a little too old for this stuff.
 
Except I’m not too old, and most of the time, it is simply a technology issue.
 
Ask me how many times I tried to change the language setting to French on WhatsApp to finally understand I had to change it through the Iphone settings! Hours texting and undoing autocorrect…. Hours.
Ask me how many times I checked the mute button on the computer and still managed to disrupt a zoom meeting.
Ask me how many times I have called a “help” number because I’ve screwed up a password and log-in. It’s too embarrassing. And yes, I did write the information down and put it in my phone.
I still can’t talk about transferring my google drive and losing the forms… I still don’t understand. Somewhere I have printouts. Somewhere in those boxes I mentioned.
 
Where was I? Oh yes – the panic attack. The Covid meltdown I should have NEVER written about.
 
I do not lie when I tell you I heard geese honking over my house last night. A whole flock of them. I’m figuring that the Holy Spirit knew what I needed a gentle reminder that He is with me. He does not forsake me. He holds me in the palm of His hand.
 
That’s when I also remembered the last time I had seen geese on Tuck river in North Carolina. I was also trying to decide that early foggy morning if I should indulge in fears and anxiety about the coming school year. About everything really. Instead I watched geese, and I even took notes.
 
Why? Because the geese were swimming upstream.

They were swimming upstream.
Just like every teacher in the U.S. is doing right now.
 
Fluffing feathers.
Cleaning.
Waiting.
Searching, looking left and right.
Fluttering around busy at work.
 
Some were leading.
Some were sunning quietly watching the others.
Some were swimming around the current.
Some were in a small group off to themselves.
 
One had its head under the water ignoring the others.
One was jumping playfully from one rock to another.
One was following another goose around, imitating everything he did.
 
They all looked alike at first glance, but then I noticed the feather patterns gave each goose distinguishing features.
 
Watching me watching them until their break was over.
 
Anxious to be moving on, a lead goose decided it was time to go. Other geese gracefully swam back and forth into formation. That one goose still had its head under water. Another goose refused to move until the honking began. Until the encouraging began.
Every one with a job to do but doing it all together.
 
Calm on the outside and scrambling underneath.
Going against the flow of the river.
Swimming upstream until they found a place where the water stopped swirling. They spread out to do what God had created them to do.
 
Captivating and charming and fascinating and enchanting.
And no goose was left behind.
 
Honk like you mean it, my friends!
#itiswellwithmysoul

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