Merci and Gracias

I had to apologize. I began a walk of shame towards yellow hall, home of our 4th and 5th grade team. I felt convicted that an appropriate I’m Sorry was in order. It wasn’t the end of the world, yet I was feeling low. I stopped by for a quick hello and explanation. I messed up invitations to a Google Meet for their kiddos.

Missing one small step can waste precious time, valuable time, and it can erode goodwill faster than I ever thought possible. Parents and coworkers need basic levels of consistency for children. They need a chance to breathe easy when something goes the way it should. They need as many tiny success moments they can garnish. It is what keeps all of us moving forward.

As I entered a classroom, I stood our requisite six feet away and quietly but purposefully apologized to two of these teachers. These angels were gracious, saying no worries and it’s cool. One teacher whispered something to me, so I leaned forward. I wasn’t wearing my glasses. I stepped a little bit closer because she had the strangest look on her face. I waited for her to gently offer up a word of advice about how to avoid this problem in the future.

Imagine me, stooping forward, eyes straining to read her lips, attention focused on what she was about to say….

when out of nowhere….

another teacher snuck up behind me, grabbed my shoulders, scaring me to death.

A good ten seconds of wicked screams escaped me as I fell forward, unable to see who snuck up behind me. I danced around, jumping like a snake was after me, trying to catch my breath.

They laughed and laughed and laughed as I hollered- You made me almost wet my pants! Yeah well… I did a little bit- every woman knows this.

Pure adrenaline hit my system, driving away shame, embarrassment, and worries. I was free of it because that is what laughter does. That is what joy does. It lightens the soul.

Then she did it again a few minutes later.
And I fell for it again.
She did it the next morning.
And I fell for it again the next morning.

Ok, ladies. I needed that. I will say thank you for laughter again in English, French, and Spanish.
While I am at it, I’ll spread some gratitude.

Merci and Gracias to every coworker, fellow teacher, who shows me
-grace when I misunderstand, when I assume, or when I jump to conclusions.
-kindness when I’m tired, temperamental, or totally exasperated.
-levity for times I screw up for never EVER in my life have I made so many tiny mistakes.
-respect for my calling and love of teaching others about languages and cultures.

Merci and gracias to each precious child who gives me
-attention during a Google Meet- that is a true miracle.
-encouragement to continue when he or she shows off during our class.
-love for the little things- a story about “Lovey” or a chance to meet the family cat.
-peace knowing that I am fulfilling my calling that God placed on my heart.

Merci and gracias and to my husband and kids who give me
-another cup of coffee while another zoom started.
-time to calm down when I forget to do something again.
-a look of warning rather than harsh words when I raise my voice first.
-another perspective when my own is woefully shortsighted.

Merci and gracias to educators across the country who
-share lesson after lesson.
-provide hacks, technology tips, and shortcuts.
-issue dire warnings about what does not work and what really doesn’t work

Bertha Delgadillo, Martina Bex, Meredith White, and Claudia Elliott- you look out for all of us language teachers and share the very best of your profession. You are loved!

Merci and gracias to parents and caregivers who
-stop me in the grocery store or church to say they appreciate that I continue to go to work even though they don’t know how teachers are managing it.
-send emails to encourage me to continue to teach, preach, seek, and provide moments of normalcy and inspiration through a camera lens an inch wide.
-ask me what they can do for me. God Bless You!
-smile but keep walking when they know they can’t say anything nice about school right now. I understand and I’m tired and I don’t know how to make you feel better either.

It’s all scary. It’s all tough. It’s a quest for peace in the midst of a storm.
We teachers are working as hard as humanly possible, praying all the way through.

I won’t apologize for that.

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