When people ask me about my family, I like to say that I have “three only children”. Each child has a unique set of needs, requiring a unique set of parenting skills. From the start, Elise and Dallas had different schedules, different expectations, and different homes to travel to on alternating weekends. Dallas had lots of family nearby. Elise left half her heart in Pell City. With so many adjustments, Bob and I endeavored to meet the essential needs of these two kids who were blameless bystanders on a new path that life set for them. Thank the Lord, I have never been a step mama in the Hollywood sense of the word. To Dallas, I was simply JoJo. When Bob and I married, I received the best advice of my life from a very wise friend, Charlene. She explained the rules of being a step mother: Tell him you love him and always give him the benefit of the doubt. Always. This advice has not failed me. Elise and Dallas accepted each other with the innocence that being four years old will bring. Elise likes to say that this whole family thing is all her fault since she introduced me and Bob on Halloween night nearly twenty years ago. From the beginning, Dallas loved me and Elise adored Bob. She even told me when she was five, “Mama, that is one good looking man!” I still agree. Elise and Dallas could not be more different. This includes everything from music and hobbies to sports teams and travels. Yet, they both have dark hair and were easily mistaken for a “real” family. I’m sure they resented each other from time to time- like a “real” brother and sister might. I do not doubt that they felt jealousy and frustration from us- like a “real” brother and sister might feel. We worked out all these twists and turns with a whole lot of prayer, a few fights, and occasional tears. Elise is lightening, filling a room with energy and purpose. Dallas is heartbeat, peaceful, steady, and strong. If Elise is challenge, then Dallas is compromise. You hear Elise and you must look for Dallas. Lightening can burn and heartbeats can change rhythm, but Elise and Dallas are perfectly unified in their love for the one who binds us all together. Ella. In fact, Ella is the best of all of us and a whole bunch of just herself. Ella can throw a kissy face, fussy face, or business face, making us laugh with unexpected joy. That girl is sassafras and lazy cats, baby cows and Broadway shows. She rolls those eyes, runs her races, and defends her friends. She is fierce. To me, these 3 kids are faith, hope, and love. Elise is faith- that God will send you what cannot imagine for yourself. Dallas is hope- that God knows your future when you do not. Ella is love, a reminder of God’s love for me. My family of three only kids represents God’s love that bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. A promise fulfilled. 3 John 1:4 tell us, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” If my children are walking in truth with the Lord, then I ask God to give them all He has given me. Walking in truth means my kids will be challenged. They will be stretched. They will serve others. They will make mistakes of huge and tiny proportions and they will ask for forgiveness. They will falter and need help. They will sometimes walk in darkness with their eyes trained on His light to see them through. They will travel the ends of the world or to the neighbor next door to tell others of His wonderful love. They will be brokenhearted and triumphant. They will cry, scream, laugh, sigh, or smile, but they will praise His Holy name. Ella will roll her eyes. Dallas will brace himself. Elise will protest. I pray they will always choose to seek Him, and then they will find Him when they put nothing else in front of Him.
4 Comments
Bob
5/2/2020 03:03:15 pm
You hit the nail on the head. I love all three of our kids and they are all special in their own way.
Reply
Dawn A. Butler
5/2/2020 07:51:19 pm
I don’t know the others but I know Dallas is amazing. I hope I can do the same in an eventual family for my little man.
Reply
Lindsey O’Neal
5/3/2020 12:04:30 pm
Your family is so so lucky to have you. I don’t think they could have a better mom 💓
Reply
Elizabeth Kuipers
5/3/2020 04:46:35 pm
What a beautiful tribute to the beloved children of a constant, faithful, amazing mama!!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Details
JoAnna Arnold
|