Bob and I had only been dating a few weeks when he gave me a paperback copy of A Walk to Remember. My favorite part of the book was Landon loving Jamie so much that he wanted to fulfill her bucket list of wishes. He took her to stand on the state line and placed her feet on both sides. Her wish? She wanted to be in two places at once. Since that moment, I have wondered why Jamie so badly wanted this. I even took this picture at the Hoover Dam last June. Just as Jamie stood on either side of two state lines, I stood in the middle of the dam (sweating profusely) with one foot in Nevada and one foot in Arizona. I immediately thought of this scene in the book and laughed. I still didn’t quite get it. That changed on February 11th. I discovered my own reason for wanting to be in two places at once. His name is Sam, and he is my first grandchild. My friends talked incessantly about how incredible it is to be a grandparent. That there’s nothing like it. That it is the best club to join. That I’m going to love every moment. When Elise and Matt handed me Sam, it was the lightest feeling of joy I have ever been blessed to experience. Grandparents all around the world acknowledge this. My heart grew with pride, doubled with laughter and silly talk, and I have this crazy desire to show every single person I meet a picture of him! All of that is true and more. I am unapologetic as I compulsively share my wonder over this amazing thing. I cannot imagine what it is like to have more than one grandchild. In preparation for becoming a grandmama, I asked my youngest students at school to train me. Oh my, they were excited to teach me, so we had a French lesson about family. These kids are experts in their field with a vast array of knowledge and opinions. They really understand what makes for a good grandparent- grandchild relationship. I was mesmerized by their enthusiasm. They said I must be kind, nice, and ready to smile and laugh. -I should be ready to play, to sing, to dance, and to give lots of kisses. -I might could go on walks and picnics, help pick out clothes, tie shoes, and clean the bathrooms. -I need toys of course, and soft beds, and lots of books and lots of music. -I will protect him, teach him French and Spanish, and build forts inside and out. - I must cook for him- cereal, yogurt, cookies, and pizza and always have plenty of cold chocolate milk in the frig. -I must give him all my love- always with the biggest hugs. I took all this preparation with me to Orlando to meet Sam. Every word was of advice was perfect. It all came true. On the day, I was preparing to come home, I realized that throughout all my grandmama training, I forgot to ask what I realize is the essential question. How do I say goodbye? No one warned me what it would feel like to leave him. All the grandparents with out-of-town grandkids knew what was coming and couldn’t prepare me for it- that moment I had to kiss Sam goodbye, hand him back to his mom and dad, and say see you soon. Part of me understands that I must get comfortable with this uncomfortable longing as quickly as possible, put my grandmama panties on, and focus on the joy. Yet, my new grandmama heart aches to be close enough to touch, hold, smell, and sing to Sam whenever I want. When I returned to school, I explained this dilemma to my students. I asked how they did it- how they parted ways with their people. They laughed but then got down to business. They explained that all I need is a plan- one that includes a special goodbye song, a hug and kiss. They reminded me that I could never cry and make my grandchild sad. I could not sneak away while he slept. That is forbidden! My favorite suggestion came from the kid who approached me with a conspiratorial whisper. He suggested I should just put my grandson in the car and take him with me because that is what the best grandparents do! Oh, these students of mine made everything all better because I realize I can do what I do best. I will plan trip after trip back down the sweetest road that exists… the road to my grandchild’s house. PS. They gave me this grandchild and it seems that are now asking me to share him nicely with other grandparents. It is a good thing that I love them too!
6 Comments
Helen
2/27/2022 01:59:24 pm
Oh, how I love this!!
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Lyn Dozier
2/27/2022 03:25:09 pm
It really is hard to explain that wonderful feeling of loving so much! Be prepared for the day when that precious grandchild sheds buckets of tears because he does not want you to leave (ours even went and got his pillow so he could go with us). Just like our children, every age is a wonder and joy! Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts. Babies, especially grandchildren, are one of God's wonderful gifts!
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Nikki Corbin
2/27/2022 06:28:58 pm
So sweet! I’m so happy for you and for your sweet Elise!
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Jeni
2/27/2022 08:17:51 pm
#StillMyFavoriteGoose
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2/28/2022 04:12:10 pm
Now you know that beautiful love that is greater than you ever imagined. So happy for you!!! You explained it all so perfectly. What a great help from your beloved students. I absolutely understand!!!!💗
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JoAnna Arnold
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