![]() “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10: 41-42 Someone has to make dinner, but this simple question wreaks havoc in my household. Peace evaporates as we go down the list of possibilities. There is no comfort in food these days. I’ve been through all the creative shortcuts, family recipes, and favorite take outs numerous times. I’ve satisfied every chocolate craving as well. Ella and I made dozens of chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and gooey bars- just to give them away. Chicken, pork, beef. Veggies different ways. You should have seen victory in my face when I remembered that tater tots used to be a family favorite. Now we seem to also require desserts at every meal. What’s for dinner? is a pressure point, making me instantly irate. Preparing food- cooking- is not my love language or my agape for my family. My meals are quite good, but the stress it causes steals all my joy. For a woman desperately trying to keep her A1C out of the danger zone, I look around at everything I should not have and taste it anyway. I have also been forced to walk miles up and down my driveway to burn it all off. My superpower lies in gathering people-hospitality. I adore seeing my people enjoy one another in fellowship as long as I get to pick up the food and serve it. Just not cook it! I may be the grand disappointment of the women in my life who have created legacies of home cooked meals of casseroles, cornbread, cobblers, and sweet tea. Last week, I was asked by a dear friend to contribute to a recipe chain. I literally laughed out loud at the straight ANXIETY that email caused. To be clever with cooking is the ultimate test. For about five minutes, I channeled the Martha side of me searching for a trendy, chic recipe that would please my friends. I sent a S'more’s recipe instead. I have to face facts. Martha would not have let me in the kitchen. If I look at Mary, I wonder if I would have the confidence to resist the pressures and simply sit at His feet. Could I just listen while others do work? I don’t recall the disciples jumping up to help either. I find myself standing between these two women. My character in Christ is both Martha and Mary. The Rev. Canon Allisyn Thomas wrote a thought-provoking sermon about Mary and Martha moments. His words to Martha, are gentle but clear, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” People often see this story in terms of black and white: Mary is right, Martha is wrong. But to look at it so starkly, I think misses the point. It’s not what Martha is doing is wrong but there is something taking place at that point in time which is more important and her attention would be better spent there. My Martha moments consist of work I love, righteous work, but work nonetheless. In my job as mom or teacher, if I ask a question, I am expected to have several possibilities of answers. My Mary moments come when I can witness to the world and show the loving relationships in my work and home. When these moments are grounded in faith, I experience a profound and blessed joy. My constant prayer from Psalm 139 is Search me o God and know my heart! Try me and know my anxieties. While “staying home” these past weeks, I have the unwelcome pleasure of examining my heart. I’ve worked so hard throughout my life to be good at Martha moments, and I recognize that an idol in my life is the longing to be loved and accepted by others. My value as a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, and human seems hinged on Martha moments when I crave more Mary moments. This is the weak link in my chain of armor- caring too much what others think about me. What did Jesus want from Martha and Mary? He told them to not let other things interrupt an awareness of Him. He wants us to accept the Peace only He can bring into our lives. My confidence comes from Him. I’m working on it. Just please do not ask me what is for dinner!
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JoAnna Arnold
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